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5 Ways to Cope with Separation and Divorce in 2022
Separation and the subsequent divorce proceedings are seldom easy for either party facing these circumstances. With more than a decade of combined experience in divorce law, the expert NJ Divorce Attorneys at Sanvenero & Cittadino weigh in to provide their top 5 tips to cope with separation and divorce in 2022. Although getting a divorce in the state of New Jersey, or any other state for that matter, is typically a last resort, these tips can help those individuals who have exhausted all other options.
Coping Tips for You
Throughout the divorce process, both spouses are typically focused on dividing their assets, delegating familial responsibilities, and making other decisions that affect both parties to the divorce. However, it is extremely important to pause and focus on yourself during this time as well. During periods of mental anguish and stress, it can be easy to lose sight of small things that bring you happiness. While it might seem selfish at times, taking the time to focus on yourself is necessary to maintain mental health and stability during the divorce process.
1. Recognize and Embrace Your Feelings
Even the most amicable separations are difficult and mentally exhausting. Going into the divorce proceedings, you should understand that you will likely experience an emotional roller coaster during this process. The important part is to embrace and process these emotions as you experience them, instead of trying to bottle them up or dismiss them. It is perfectly normal to feel angry one day, upset the following day, hopeful the day after, and angry all over again the next day. Embracing these emotions instead of attempting to ignore them will help you move forward and potentially form new relationships in the future.
2. Don’t Be Hard on Yourself
As you embrace these feelings and begin the coping process, another important thing to remember is not to be hard on yourself. Divorce is mentally and physically exhausting, so performing at a lesser level than you’re used to for a period of time is both natural and perfectly okay.
Your productivity at work may drop, chores may seem to pile up around the house more than usual, and you may have less time and energy than usual to devote to others. These things are normal, and it is important to give yourself a break during this difficult time – the people around you who care about you will give you a pass as well, and they should.
3. Don’t Think That You Need to Go Through Divorce Alone
Surrounding yourself with friends, family, and a competent NJ Divorce Lawyer can help make your separation and the divorce process much easier. Sharing your feelings with the people closest to you can help validate how you feel and why you may feel the way you do. These people will also have your best interests at heart, and they will likely offer you tremendous amounts of support.
On the legal side of things, consulting with and confiding in your Divorce Attorney can help give you peace of mind and reassurance that things are moving in the right direction throughout the process.
Coping Tips for Your Family
While focusing on yourself throughout your divorce is critical to maintaining your mental health and fortitude, it is equally as important to guide your family through this process as well – particularly if you have children. Your family will likely be your biggest support system, and reciprocating that support can go a long way in making the process as easy as possible.
4. Stick to Routines and Minimize Changes
Families are bound by many things, but routines are one of the strongest familial bonds. Family members, especially children, often associate routines and regular activities with their family. These routines may seem trivial in many cases, like ordering in food every Friday night, but family members will immediately notice the absence of these routines or activities if they stop happening.
Having to perform these activities separately or without your separated partner is difficult enough, so it is important to do as much as possible to maintain stability for children and other close family members by at least sticking to the routines.
5. Maintain Consistent Parental Values
This tip can be particularly difficult if your separating partner isn’t agreeable, but most separations and divorces involving children tend to push even the most difficult ex-spouses towards compromise. After sticking to routines and minimizing changes, maintaining consistent parental values is the most important thing you can do to help your child or children cope with the divorce.
By maintaining consistency, each household, although separate, will be joined by these values. These values should be as specific as bedtimes and curfews and as broad as worldly morals and educational expectations.
Coping with Divorce – In Conclusion
Separation and divorce will take an undeniable mental toll on all parties involved, but following these tips can help you and those close to you cope with the process. Be sure to set aside time to focus on you and try not to be too hard on yourself. Lower energy and productivity levels are completely normal, as are the emotions you will experience during this time. Keep in mind the importance of maintaining as much of the status quo as possible for those closest to you – especially children – so they can cope as well.
Most importantly, always remember that you are not alone in the divorce process. Having a strong support system comprised of family members and close friends will help make the process much easier. Working with a top New Jersey divorce lawyer will also help give you peace of mind throughout the process, especially if things get complicated. Don’t hesitate to consult the professional team of NJ divorce law experts at Sanvenero & Cittadino. We will guide you through the process and ensure you are at ease. Contact us today to schedule your consult.